I want to show you guys a picture of me, one year ago.
I was incredibly sick. In fact, I very easily almost died. But there was one very special thing keeping me there (despite the fact that I was so out of it, to this day, I can barely remember the hours leading up to 4:00).
At 4:00, I got to see the one thing that I held on for.
At exactly 4:00, he came. I was able to hold him, to meet him, to cuddle him, and to realize that my life would never be the same, and that was totally okay with me. And somehow, in the past year, my little bitty baby has grown up.
When he was born one year ago, Zach weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces. Now, he is a whopping 22 pounds.
He still yanks off hats every time he gets the chance.
He seemed so tiny in that huge carseat when we brought him home. Now that carseat is too small– we’ve had to buy a new one.
All of his little baby wrinkles are gone.
In the past year, he has learned to sit, to crawl, to feed himself, to drink from a cup, to communicate with signs and words, to turn the pages of a book. He has become advanced in fine motor skills and social-personal skills. He has met every developmental milestone and exceeded many of them. He has grown at an amazing rate, staying consistent at each appointment. He has gotten such a personality, such a… Zach-ness about himself.
He loves Sid the Science Kid, and watching Sesame Street videos with his grandma on Youtube.
His favorite word is “wiggle.”
He loves books, especially his Baby Animals Sea Life book and his I’ll See You In the Morning book he got from Citrus Lane.
He loves his stacking cups, but not to stack them… he loves to knock them down.
His favorite food is watermelon. He also loves chocolate, vanilla wafers, crackers (especially Goldfish), pineapple, and many other fruits, vegetables, and noodles. He can eat an entire container of yogurt at once.
He loves to sing and make sure that you’re listening.
He loves to play with Echo, climbing him and petting him, and throwing toys for Echo to fetch.
He loves sand. Bathtime is the best. He likes to swim, especially if his uncle is in the pool.
He is just… amazing. And he has changed so much in the past year.
So many times, I say “Zach! Slow down! I want to rewind and see you in those first few weeks, few months… I miss you being a baby, a little bitty boy.” But honestly? I wouldn’t trade right now for the world. I want to enjoy him right this minute. I want to love each unique thing he does, each new thing he learns, each weird quirk and adorable habit.
I love him. I can’t live without him. He is the reason I’m here, the reason I held on through my illness last year. He is my whole world, and I can’t live without him. But he grew up so fast, and he’s still growing, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. All I can do is enjoy the right now of the whole thing… I can enjoy this minute, when he is standing next to his high chair, and letting go without realizing it. I can enjoy this right now, when he is crawling across the floor listening to Sid the Science Kid and stopping to stare every time they sing a song. I can enjoy this moment, when he is standing up on his knees, then slamming his hands against the floor and yelling “La la LA la!” I can enjoy this moment when he is removing all of the rubber ducks from the back of his truck and throwing them around the room, waiting for me to put them back into the truck so he can do it again.
Enjoy it. They grow too fast.