Blogger is Freakin’ Dumb. Plus, I Almost Died.

Hey, everyone. The other day, I thought it would be a good idea to start posting on blogger instead of on WordPress, because I’ve heard you can customize it a lot better. It seemed like a good idea at the time, of course.

I wrote a miles long post about everything that’s happened to me in the past few months. And… it disappeared. Gone. Checked in drafts and everything, and it’s just completely gone-zo.

I’m going to try to re-create the story of what happened here.

Now, I don’t remember the last time I posted on wordpress. I know it’s been ages.
(Psst, I just checked. It was December 3).
Since I know now where I left off, let me give you a crash course on the last few months.

December 3. Finals week. Then Dec. 11 was my birthday. I also found out I was pregnant. Yay! Told the family. That was crazy. Also found out a close family friend of mine was in jail for a crime I’m still not sure if he committed or not… I could see it going either way. That night was my birthday party. Dec. 11 was a busy day! Christmas followed. I spent it with family, and Kyle, my then-boyfriend. January came. So did going back to school. Also my brother Marius and his girlfriend visited from Germany, which was awesome. Kyle, Marius, Zarah and I all went to the Melting Pot. Yum. Fondue=win. Marius and Zarah went home. Cry! January ended and February started and I found out I was having a little boy. Awwww. Valentines Day happened, but it was nothing special… Kyle and I worked on a display for his job. So fun! Not. March. School continued. Kyle and I broke up. Kyle celebrated his birthday, drunk dialed me, wanted to work things out. We did. April. We broke up again, only like two weeks after getting back together. I asked if he wanted to know about his son. He said “Goodbye.” I took that as a no. We didn’t speak again after that. May happened. More school. Life was easier, happier, and less expensive (not driving 45 minutes one-way several times a week to visit Kyle saves a lot of money in gas!) Baby boy kept growing healthy. Exchange students went home… I cried. June. School quarter ends. Vacation- YAY! A week on the beach is always refreshing. Came home, got put on bedrest for high blood pressure and some protein in my urine. Spent a lot of December through June in and out of the emergency room because of the blood pressure and protein. Oh well. July. Baby shower- fun! Halfway through the baby shower, the main drama starts…. soooooooo….

Here we go.

I’m at the baby shower, right? Right. My back starts hurting. REALLY badly. I’d been having back pains and shortness of breath for awhile, but whatever, I dealt with it. Sometimes, you just deal with it. I asked my dad to go home and get me a pillow for me to sit on to relax my back pain a little.

I sat on the pillow, I made it through the shower. Afterwards, my family from Springfield, plus Drew (my best friend in the whole world like ever), plus my immediate family, all went to the Greek restaurant (yum). There was dancing and fire breathing and more back pain. Pretty sure I was in labor. We went home. Drew put the stroller together because he’s an awesome friend like that. I worked on Thank You Notes from the baby shower. My back was KILLING me. Things were getting worse. I was feeling definite patterns in the back pain. Called Drew’s mom. She said to time them, and that I should walk. Drew sat in the sunroom and wrote down the times, I walked laps around it. A pattern developed. Around midnight, I went to the hospital.

At the hospital, the nurse was a total witch with a B. I’m not kidding. She had a major attitude about me from the second I arrived. I explained where my pain was. She looked at me point blank and said “You don’t feel contractions in your back.” Um, hello B-witch. Have you ever heard of Back Labor? It’s pretty common. You work in maternity triage. You should know this.

The pain kept getting worse. They wouldn’t let me walk because of my blood pressure, which was going up and down– normal to sky-high. The nurse said she was going to send me home. I wasn’t dialating measurably. She left the room and I started to get dressed to go home. She came back in and said “Okay, you’re staying.” I found out later it was because my pulse hit 170 and the doctor said I couldn’t leave.

I stayed.

That night, I kept waking up coughing, and I felt like I was drowning. Every breath felt like liquid was filling it. My chest felt heavy. I had been out of breath a lot lately, but never like this. I felt so sick, but I also felt too weak to do anything about it, so I just kept closing my eyes back and trying to sleep. The coughing made it difficult. To this day, every time I cough, I still feel terrified because of what happened next, and I still have dreams about that horrible drowning feeling.

The next morning, things just sort of blurred. My mom came with my brother, and they both sat in my room. According to my mom, four doctors, the charge nurse, and several other nurses came into my room and just stayed in there for four hours. At one point, I was having an ecocardiogram on my heart and a sonogram on my stomach all at once. I was really tremendously ill. I don’t remember much of it. I was out for most of the day, completely blotto. Mom says she has never been more scared in her life- I was literally just fading away. The doctors later said they were worried either the baby, or I, or both, would not survive.

The doctors all decided that the best thing for me was to have the baby. If nothing else, at least the baby would be okay if the worst happened with me. My heart was failing. My lungs were filling with fluid. I was dying. That night, they started a pitocin drip, which induces labor, and let me sleep. I still didn’t sleep well, feeling horrible. The next day, they upped the pitocin, gave me some sleeping pills, and I slept through most of my labor. Then, it was time to push. I started pushing. I only had to push through about 10 contractions before the baby was born. Compared to everything else, labor was easy- I didn’t even moan, let alone scream.

At 4pm, July 12, 2011, my son was born. Zachary Andrew. He was a miracle, a dream, complete perfection. Holding him, I realized I couldn’t imagine life without him. And honestly, I hope I never have to. He’s an amazing kid.

After having my son, my levels started to return to normal. Medicine helped with my blood pressure, my heart, and my fluid levels, and my lungs started to clear up. The doctors realized it was probably a condition I’d spend my entire life dealing with, but that it was manageable and I could survive it. My son was absolutely perfect. He was healthy, despite being three weeks early.

During the days that followed, things were reasonably good. Zach and I had fallen into a good rhythm. The only negatives at first were that he was a little jaundiced, which cleared up without treatment, and an eye infection that tested positive for e. Coli, which cleared up with drops and never infected his bloodstream. The other downside was that Kyle showed up to the hospital, and it seemed he was trying to cause trouble. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. That’s not my place to decide. All I know is, it is what it is, and it became very obvious very quickly why he and I never did work out.

Anyway, I had to stay in the hospital longer than expected. However, eventually, after a million and a half years, I was released. I came home.

Zach and I again fell into a routine. My parents were a God-send at this point. They were always there to help. If I didn’t get enough sleep at night or something, my mother would watch Zach during the day so I could catch up for an hour or two. Dad held him during the evenings to make things a little easier. Life was… is… good.

Zach mostly is a dream baby. He sleeps like a charm a lot of nights, though lately sleep has been rocky. Things are just… really, truly, good.

Our life seems to be an endless stream of doctor’s appointments right now, because my health still isn’t amazing, even though it’s certainly survivable. I have to monitor my blood pressure on a daily basis, and check my weight every day to make sure I’m not getting more fluids in my lungs. I have medications to take that keep my fluids down by making me have to pee a lot, and I have medications that even out my blood pressure. They also gave me medicine for pain, but I never take those… I’m not in any pain.

Zach has been growing very nicely. He is a breastfeeding champ.

Our new exchange students came, too. We were just welcoming them, not keeping them for the full year. One has already found a home. The other is still looking. Anyone got room for him in my area? Lol. Seriously, though, we love the students, and we’d gladly keep them if we didn’t have a newborn in the house that tends to scream and get on teenage nerves.

Life is surprisingly easy considering I have a newborn. I’m at ease around kids because of my history with them, which makes sense, so it’s not as hard to mother Zach as I thought it would be. The hardest part is when it’s 5am and I’ve changed his diaper and fed him and he’s still crying. I feel helpless, like I don’t know why he is crying or what he needs, but with a little patience and some rocking, we’re both able to get to sleep again at some point.

I’ve also been working on a few new projects lately. I just started a project over at, which features a word every day for 12 days. The class is free, and includes video guides and a template that you can use, whether you do paper scrapping or digital scrapping. It’s a lot of fun, and I hope that some of you sign up. At the end of the 12 days, I’ll share my finished album. I’m using the project to tell my son about the hopes and dreams I have for his life.

My other goal for the moment is to get my pregnancy album finished and my son’s first year album started. He’s already a month old, so I’m feeling seriously behind at this point! Oh well… scrapping isn’t about deadlines, it’s about living!

Also, I’ve heard some rumors that is having their Going Going Gone sale this weekend, so you’ll want to check it out. Things are going to be discounted pretty nicely! I think I may spend my life savings. Maybe.

Speaking of Sweet Shoppe, are any of you fans of Fee Jardine? I am. She’s a dream- seriously, I love her and her designs. Well, she just re-vamped her blog and it looks fantastic! Plus, if you sign up for her newsletter, you get a free special gift (hint: it’s a kit!) and she is set to send out more freebies (her blog mentions a free template coming this Wednesday!) You can check out her blog at

Okay, that’s seriously all I have for now, because it’s 1:44am and the munchkin is finally asleep, which means it’s time for me to be asleep, too. Goodnight, everyone!



  1. I already heard Zach’s birth story at SSD, but reading it once again gave me goosebumps! What a mix of scary and oh so happy stuff! And yay for GGG!!!! 😉

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