The end of an era, and the beginning of another

Tuesday should mark the end of part of my life. My divorce will be final. Hopefully.

I keep thinking I should feel sad about this, or angry, or frustrated, or super excited and happy. Mostly, though, I just feel indifferent. I mean, Joe and I have not seen each other since October. We’ve barely spoken since December. So honestly, it feels like things are over. I just need it to be over officially.

I mean, no, our lack of communication is not what killed us. Anyone who knows me well knows exactly why I’m getting divorced. Even people who don’t know me well, but know how strongly I support programs against dating and domestic violence, have a really good idea of why this divorce is happening.

But honestly, Joe is almost entirely out of my life. The only way he is even slightly still in my life is because he still hasn’t picked up his crap so I’ve been lugging a suitcase around of it all, and because of the hacking, but that’s a whole different story.

To be honest, I’m anxious for it to be over, yes. But in the end, it basically makes no real difference. I don’t really see or “get” anything from being with him. He’s so… out of my life. It’s not like he was really in it that much to begin with.

Anyway, pray that things go well Tuesday. Then all this can be over, and I can start the rest of my life, without the “old ball and chain.” Ha!

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